October 17, 2006:
I had a dream last night that was more intense than usual. Although I know there are obvious discernments from which to make from the dream, I am already seeing as a warning to God's people and to those who are on the fence with the choices they are making and who they are serving.
Here is the dream:
I was one of a party of about 5 or 6 other adults on some type of an outdoor adventure or journey. We were needing to get somewhere, but I don't know where we were going, or why we needed to get to this place. We were riding in the back of a large white van that had been gutted. There was all sorts of hiking, climbing and outdoor gear in the van. We were in a very beautiful area, surrounded by mountains and rivers. The others were familiar to me in spirit, but I didn't know them as friends or anyone in my life in reality. I didn't know why I was there. I felt as though I didn't fit into this group or scenario or element. Although I was a part of the events, the group never really spoke to me directly or acknowledged my presence. In a nutshell, I felt invisible, yet still unable to leave.
The group had apparently made the decision - or that it was our destination - to go white water rafting. The van pulled up to an overlook over the river. The river was raging and roaring and other rafts were being tossed around in it like toys. I looked down the road and saw that we were at a place that gave rafting tours. Other groups were being loaded into their rafts quickly, similarly to a ride at an amusement park. Once you were on the raft, there didn't seem to be a way out.
All the while an intense, crippling fear was rising up in me from my toes to my throat. I did NOT want to go on this rafting trip. I was screaming inside, but nobody else in my group seemed to notice but one man. He didn't say a word to me, but I knew that he was telling me I had no choice but to go with them. The intensity of this fear was incredibly real and overwhelming. I felt it in my dream as if I was living it in reality.
And then, I was back at the overlook. I felt a sense of release or freedom. I was seeing into a realm that others were not able to see. The raging river below was actually a man-made river. It was designed like a pool, with a base under the ground, and all the tubes and controls were out of view. The rapids were controlled by man, and I saw a set of hands on a dial, controlling the surges and undertow in my peripheral vision. Under the water were giant flippers, like those on a pinball machine. The hands were then controlling how hard the various flippers banked and rocked the rafts as they went by. The man who had impressed upon me that I had to go on the raft was standing next to me. I was trying to tell him what I was seeing, but he wasn't seeing. I don't think he could even hear my voice.
And then I awoke.